Desperate to feel fulfilled
When the night closes in, so does the time to sleep. but this time, it was different, i didn’t sleep, i didn’t have any sleep in me. i felt something was missing, something needed to be done yet i could never know what is it. the unfulfillment i felt was unreal. desperate to do that thing which i don’t know, so badly, it seemed to be the only important thing in my life that i had to do. i came up with a solution that may or may not be dangerous, i needed to get outside and do something before i lose my mind. i brought with me some wood and equipment to light up some fire and sit around and wait until something, somehow to get that fulfillment feeling i so much desire. a very lonely and quite night. sitting and warming my self with the fire. it was beautiful. however it was not enough to get me the feeling im looking for. it only made me crave more, something more needed to happen or else it would be just a boring lifeless night with myself and my cravings. desiring so much in so little time is the mistake i made, a mistake i will forever learn from. i should have been patient and accepted that if i want great things to happen, i will have to wait a very long time for a truly fulfilling experience. as i was looking at the fire i just made, i felt a hand reach out to my shoulder, and tapping it. i turn around to see a bat flapping its wings on me and fly away. animals sure like to mess with us humans, now i was actually starting to feel excitement. as the bat went into the woods, i followed it there too just out of sheer curiosity. once the bat stopped i saw it eating something that looked like meat but it was too dark to see well. so i close in and check out what is so delicious for a bat to eat at night. it was something i couldn’t recognize, a bunch of meat stuff meshed together, perhaps it was a human or an animal, that i can’t know. i move back to the fire to bury it and go home. i saw enough to feel fulfilled for today anyway. even if it was something not to my likening. it was the desperate night. patience is the key, a key few know how to use. The unused key.
Writing to change lives for the best
On an adventure, in the snow land. i sat my luggage in my cottage and went to look at the window. the snow was covering the whole area. Spending my time here for a little bit doing some work that must be done, this place really inspires me so much. being alone like this and the sound of the quite snow wind outside is very relaxing to me. my job was to write inspiring words that will encourage highschoolers to study and love life as it’s meant to be. it was no easy task but thankfully i was able to pull it off, just in time. sitting near the fire pit feeling a bit warm, i grabbed my pen and notebook. wrote hundreds of words for the next hours but i only had to choose a select few. once i was done i had to go back to the main building and eat dinner with everyone living in the cottages. we had a great meal and i truly liked the hot soup. i thanked the cook. on my way back i saw my cottage room door open and some snow got in a little bit. i hurry up coming in to close it and cool down a bit. by now i haven’t truly made contact with anyone here. maybe a few conversations, perhaps they seemed casual to me but not to them. as an outsider to this area i felt uncomfortable, some truly hideous thoughts crawled up in my mind but i didn’t give in to them. after a while of cooling down in the room i realized some of my notebook papers are torn off. the ones which were the most important to me, the ones i wanted to use as encouragement for students to study and live better. it was gone. i saw a note placed at the end, it says “If not in here, then think where it should be”. In the fear of the moment, i almost forgot these important words i wrote, but it’s true i can’t forget something this important. especially if its going to change others lives. i had all of the words in my heart, the true place where they should be and go out from. perhaps this situation changed my thinking and actually made me have a better life. thanks to the kind stranger that i never knew. doing a bad thing for the good of others, that’s a very challenging thing to do.
A decision that changed everything
The night is the most important time of day for me, it is when i feel up to do anything and everything with real passion, that’s why i love it so much. But i couldn’t enjoy this one night, it is the worst in my life. it began with me and my friend being out in the cold night, nothing was wrong at first, we were minding our own business and just talking about video games our favorite hobby. As we pass by the empty streets and side walks, we eventually stumble upon a dead cat, as cat lovers we really felt pained in our hearts. the sight was unbearable so we had to move away fast. a shadowy figure stops us and questions our decision of leaving a dead cat on the street for everyone to see rather than move it somewhere else. as she did question us a speeding car came by and opened its doors as it sped it even more, in a split second the shadowy figure vanished from sight. this is the most eerie moment of my life so far, we hadn’t thought much about it other than it was very unusual and extremely uncomfortable to be in such situation. i had no choice but to split up with my friend and call it a day, it was enough for my weak heart. i was greeted again by the shadowy figure waiting on my house door. she said “Your time ran out tonight”. wait, my time ran out? just what could it mean. i was too afraid to ask, again she disappeared the moment i tried to approach her. i was feeling even more horrified each second passing. i went to sit in a desk in my room to write for everyone i love my final message. i had felt death coming to me sooner than later. i truly believed my time ran out. once i was done i locked my bedroom door and truly wished i could live another day, to eat my favorite food, spend just one last time with my beloved ones, just once that’s all ask, i want to enjoy my life before the end, but the end waits for no one. and no one waits for the end, it will come. my windows broke and the shadowy figure emerged from it. but this time she didn’t talk, only stared at me intensely. so hard i almost broke down. approaching me with each step. she stopped and i felt it. i was having my head down but now i started looking up. i saw tears pouring out of the shadowy figure. i had no idea what to do, i felt so weak and useless. was she feeling bad about a decision i made?. its true after all, the shadowy figure is the actual owner of the dead cat, once i knew that my thoughts took a different turn. why was she so desperate about us making a decision about her own cat? i could never know because seconds after this weird encounter. she was gone and i never saw her before. i told my friend later about what happened to me that night. it was the decision night. a decision that drove someone else after me for a thing i had no control over. for a thing that wasn’t mine, a story emerged from it that will stay forever in my mind.
It was the darkest night i have ever witnessed in my life. No moon or stars are visible. the ground and the empty blackness of the sky. on the rooftop i sat and watched the ground with its people passing by. i was bored so i didn’t have anything better to do. and the house was empty and i didn’t feel good by just staying inside when i can be in the vast expansive outside world, even if it was only limited to being on the rooftop. a very calm atmosphere, i could almost sleep if it wasn’t for the fact its a hot night. Minutes pass by and i keep thinking of very important things that are going to happen next in my life. such as getting married and having a house, my mind is very clouded with other thoughts but they are too disturbing to talk about. it was time to go back and get some sleep, the drowsiness almost consumed me. with heavy shaky steps i walked toward the door to the first floor. and i was greeted by a literal trail of blood dripping and moving on the stair steps. i was too late to notice it and fell down the stairs, hurting my legs and head, and my body looked like someone who was just murdered on the spot. no major injuries of course and the blood wasn’t mine. who could have died in our house when i was the only one there?. the despair got into me, this is my last night, no time to get married or have a good life, a good fake life. the day my life is over is when everything will feel over because i don’t exist to feel anything anymore. the despair reached the maximum limit for me. i fell on my face, almost dead, breathing very slowly. woke up in the hospital to a bunch of wires. my family was around, they told me i stayed asleep for 10 years and that my body cannot function normally anymore. basically i was done for. i was a dead man living. all my hopes for a good future suddenly shattered the whole world with it. was this it? the end?. it wasn’t no, it wasn’t close to the end. Even if that night was the last night, the last day is still to come. and before it does, i will keep living and writing novels for the whole world to read. my life is over but i must make others lives better. it was a burning feeling inside of me, a feeling that was more of a desire. Today i still live and write many happy novels for the world to read and bring happiness from the darkest of places, the hospital. where pain and suffering happens everyday.
The beach is beautiful but not this day
At night on the beach, the moon light makes the waves sparkle like fragments of broken glass. and that’s exactly what i heard right then, sounds of glass breaking. someone must have smashed something that felt very important. i turn around to see someone breaking the glass windows of a car . i was selfish so i didn’t even feel sorry for the owner of the car, who i still didn’t knew yet. i approached the man who i still couldn’t see very well, just a silhouette who broke the glass and asked him from far away , “what’s gotten into you?”. i didn’t receive a reply. as i grew closer and closer to him i realized he was holding an old axe that looked very rusted and had been used a lot. i used my flash light to see better. but the man was gone before i turn it on. i wasn’t scared, but i didn’t want to die either so i ran home fast. before i slept i kept thinking of that man. the image of the axe stuck in my mind like food that got between teeth and never would let go. i couldn’t sleep because i don’t sleep at night. this was because of my bad addiction of using my computer at night. it makes matter worse that i use my computer to work all day writing and editing and doing a ton of computer stuff. i was still not afraid, just not feeling well inside, almost feeling sick. tired and dead inside. no will to do anything anymore. in all of this despair i heard music outside. it felt odd so i went out to see what it is. it was not music, it was the axe man breaking car glasses all over the town. i thought to myself(did he follow me? was i the cause?). nothing made sense to me. the police will take an hour to come as they are a bit far from our distant town. no one can help us right now other than ourselves. glass everywhere, shattered. never going back to its original form. To confront him i brought with me a small but effective metal stick. and some rope and my friends for help. the maniac axe man screamed as we tied him down and took away his deadly axe. after a few minutes he dropped dead. it was found later that he was drugged, and who drugged him, no one knows till this day. the man had a past innocent record. there was someone somewhere planning all of this evil. perhaps not even realizing the consequences. the mystery was never solved and got passed down in history books as the Tragedy of Beach town.
Sipping coffee at night, what could go wrong?
With my friends sipping our favorite coffee at our usual coffee shop. The taste is the same, I always like to order the same thing every single time, it’s better for my sensitive tongue. it was time to close, but we kept talking ignoring it altogether, until the waiter came and told us “It’s better to go while you still can”. Our eyes widened at the sharp words. we get it that its time to be off but, the words lingered in our minds. With no choice in our hands we let go and move out. My friends all went to their homes but i stopped near the coffee bar and waited until i can see the waiter again, trying to confirm my suspensions. I’m very sensitive when it comes to sharp words, add that with my hardcore curiosity it creates a person no one is willing to be friends with. I’m not very fond of myself as this often gets me in trouble that leaves visible scars for everyone to see forever. Still waiting behind a wall just close enough for me to see what he does after a job well done serving coffe. i caught a glimpse of his hands having a spider web tattoo, it doesn’t scare me at all. but what did scare me is the fact that his hands were holding my own wallet!, unbelievable, how could i not notice, this is not a waiter he’s a thief. Holding myself is the only thing i can’t do right now. its not even an option. i felt a sudden breakdown inside myself. i broke and reconstructed fast enough to get my will together. Running, no. flashing speed sprinting all the way and making a huge jump big enough to reach his tall neck and grab him. I was short alright but my legs could carry me toward the sky if i would like. from his neck toward the ground crushing my hands with the impact. And finally getting my wallet. and then i realized someone had already called the police and with that i was done. done just like that, over with. finished. or that’s what i thought right then. in a snap my friends came and defended me before the waiter could make next moves and fake his innocence. it was later discovered that he belonged to some shady criminal groups within our society, our safe society. I still have scars from that fierce battle, i will never forget it. the steam and anger inside me, overwhelming. We still frequented the coffee shop and this time actually feeling safe. i thank my good friends who somehow were also watching from a far, without them i could have been spending a few years in jail, and get into a whole different world that i won’t like, or really who knows? perhaps i could make a few friends there but enough about what did not happen. at least i survived. The coffee night, I still laugh when thinking about it.
If I could live more, I would have wanted to do many things in my life. In fact right now I want to do impossible things. If only I had the chance. There is time, but no will to do it. It was all lost that night. So cruel it was, so bad it affected me, I lost myself. So much was ahead of me its over whelming. I was a 20 year old college student, I had something to do there at night that day. To retrieve a missing item. Something I missed. It was my own laptop, it had all my secrets and every little detail imaginable about me and most importantly, all of my college work that only exists there. it breaks my heart to even try to remember the tragic incident. So, i was walking and getting closer to the classroom which has my laptop. As i do so, suddenly the room lights lit up and i felt a shadow sneaking somewhere and disappearing in the darkness. i found my laptop alright, here is the thing. its broken to bits and pieces. every little of it. on the floor they resembled a word, i tried my best to read it. the writing was bad, however i could grasp that it said “your next”. At first i had no idea who it was but then, i started to think harder, (someone who has a grudge on me?). No one came to mind, i never had a fight with anyone and never treated anyone badly, but the world doesn’t work like that. its more important to know your enemies than your friends. its the truth but i didn’t want to accept that. But then i had to face reality, i dropped out of college and the word “your next” haunted me for the rest of my life. all is lost in a moment.