Cycle of sadness

how did i get here?

sitting on a cliff, looking at the bare landscape. I was there staring at the nature until the night came to be. I was away from all my responsibilities, wasting away my time.

At some point, I had to go back to see what changed. Nothing changed, “everything is the same” I reassured myself. I felt bad for not doing what I was supposed to do, however I cant change the past, its set in stone already.

Regret came over me, and it got off very fast.

This cycle repeated itself for at least 10 times in a row until it finally hit me. “I should change” I told myself. I was very hopeless but I wanted to try before I give it up.

Change, yes I’m following change. That is my goal, that is what I desire right now.

But nothing worked, and I kept chasing change for the rest of my life but I never found it.

I hope nobody else end up like me, good luck to everyone.